nesting

an example of a **keys in office** property.

for the last month, heng and i have been on a bit of an adventure (downer) as we've been going head to head with the fierce rental market. it's been interesting (but mostly soul crushing) and we've had some laughs (between fits of tearing our hair out).

here's a run down of some rental language we've learned...

• **keys in office now** is code for 'this place is a complete dump'.
• cosy means small and claustrophobic.
  
• low maintenance garden means smothered in gray cement.
• close to public transport means so close that the house rattles every time a train goes past.
• position, position, position means there's nothing positive to say about the house.
• a very smiley and helpful land agent should sound alarm bells as it's extremely likely he's clocked you as a couple of suckers and will attempt to offload problematic properties onto you.
  
  allow me to elaborate...

we found an absolutely stunning and spacious 50s house that won our hearts immediately. our application was approved by the super friendly land agent who appeared to bend over backwards for us. the final hurdle before signing, was to meet with the owner... who turned out to be a bitter old tyrant with an enourmous chip on his shoulder. his outrageous and non-negotiable 'conditions' included his coming over every weekend to mow the lawn and to throw away any of our stuff that he thought looked untidy. he was insistent that he'd kick us out if anyone else came to live in the house and we were required to call him every time we had visitors. he made a point of warning us that he'd enlisted the neighbours to spy on us. we ran a mile!